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May 22, 2010

What should I do...?

What should I do? My life after being dumped become more worst. Even
worst than before. I just can't accept that I've lost that u for real.
The one that used to be the most precious person ever in my life is
now leaving me for real. How can I walk without u? Oh for God sake, I
still can't accept it. I'm too weak to go thru this alone. Not without
u

What should I do? I was trying to make myself realize that I'm now all
alone. Living my day without any "good morning" message from u. Living
my day without any control by u. It makes me feel empty. I miss my
life when I was with u. I miss everything about u. How I wish that I
have the 'Delete' button in my hands so that I could easily press on
it whenever I think that I don't need those memories. But I can only
hoping for nothing real.

What should I do? I have some friends on my side encouraging me to
stop thinking too much about it. Its not that they don't understand my
situation. Its more like they don't bear to see me myself in grief for
so long. I used to cried...on my friend's shoulder and even on my
bestfriend's lap. I cried because I can't stand alone. I miss my past
relationship that I don't really care when I was in it. I was ego to
my partner. I broke ur heart so much. Too many times.

What should I do? It is too impossible for me to bring it back on
track. I've lost everything now. No more text messages from u, no more
calls from u and the worst part is no more attention from u. U used to
care about me from head to toes. Checking on what I was up to..where
am I and with whom.. It was a sweet memories we built. And now I'm
living in our memories alone. Its haunting me..with your presence
still lingers here..in my life. Its just too hard for me to chase u
away.. I've made a biggest mistake ..and no one can even forgive me
for that. Not even you.

What should I do? Should I just move on and forget about u? Should I
start my new life without even thinking about u? Tell me how coz I
can't. My bestfriend said that I actually can get rid of u and its
just me myself is not strong enough to start it. How can I start it?
Tell me how...

What should I do? Sometimes my day went so happy without even thinking
about u or our memories together but sometimes those memories came and
attacks me deeply into my heart. Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't
chase u but somehow its hurt me more everytime I was trying to leave
my past behind.

What should I do? When I saw ur monkeys in my room, when I saw the
small pillow u gave me. They 'look' at me like I was looking at u.
They smile at me like u used to. I think they miss u too =) the times
we were together was full of flavours. There is the moments when we
fight, argue and laugh together. We hang out together..eating
together..even watch a movie together..

What should I do....?
I should kill the memories...
should i?
shouldnt i?

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